i cant stand myself. todays emaths test WAS easy. but all careless. and i cant think of the solutions. struggle my way through. and now im the midst of failing. failing my best and most powerful subject in my primary and secondary school life for the FIRST time. i cant. my standards hav dropp. i can no longer get A1. i hate myself for not studying. im just uncomfortable without a calculator. its feels so... empty.

today is bored. dozing off during literature lessons once again. cant help it. ive tried to keep myself up. bu i cant. i havent started studying anything. not even done my hmwk. and some other hmwrks due weeks ago. wad is with mi. i just keep slacking. i wanna stop. i wanna resist my temptation. but i cant. if i have the urge to go online. i will hav to go. and i cant concentrate well if i dont. im so useless. no self-control. and worst off. its O's. a major yr. i wanna get into a JC. i want to have a straight path for my future. i cant slack. and im born in the dragon yr. that is more of a "NO NO". i can do it. yes i can!